Everyone can benefit from improvement in their relationships to loved ones. Most of us believe that improved relationships will come from others changing, or from us making compromises and turning a blind eye to things that bother us. But if you really understand that your life emerges from you and for you (see Life is God’s Love in Action, in the article on the Power of Gratitude in Conscious Manifestation), the manner in which your relationships appear to you in life is determined by the lessons and blessings you are attracting.
When you judge another as needing to change, you place your limited perceptions on the situation, which influence the outcomes you can connect with. At any point in time, there are infinite potential realities to experience, and you choose the one to be experienced by your thoughts and intentions. This may not be instantaneous (though it can be); but with consistency, you will witness others changing around you. So when you judge, you choose the outcome in which the person will remain as they are–in other words, you choose the reality in which the ‘unwanted’ object of your judgment is locked in. Have you ever felt judged? Typically, the reaction to judgment is defensiveness and resentment. And what a person defends will naturally persist. Furthermore judgment separates you from life as it seeks to control, and control blocks the movement of life. Whenever you judge, you resist life and attract struggle. Judgment of others is your own condemnation and prison sentence.
In addition, when you need another person to change, you place your empowerment on something outside of you. This is not a powerful choice of the one who wants to direct the course of his or her life. The fact is that nothing on the outside can harm or diminish you, nor can it interfere with your power to define your life. What interferes is your perceived powerlessness. Feeling that another must change in order for you to be happy or in order to have the freedom to do certain things in life is a choice of disempowerment.
And finally, compromise is a lose-lose situation. In compromise, we negotiate our rights and lose integrity. The solution is innocent perception. In Love Without End1 is stated that innocence belongs to the Holy Father, to the sacred center of each person’s heart. Through innocent perception, all misconceptions may be exposed and released from one’s life. How you perceive another determines which version of the other you are entering in relationship with. There are no objective observers in life–your perception is co-creating the experience with the other person. If the other person exercises innocent perception, they will help you to change your mind. But if you recognize your judgment, be the first the act.
Innocent perception does not mean you ignore what you see. It means that you perceive it without placing guilt on another–in innocence, you can see the wounds, fear or ignorance out of which the other is acting and nothing is taken personally. Your reality is not threatened in any way. In innocence are revealed insights and understandings that are not accessible outside of the heart. Moreover, in innocence, you close the gap of cause and effect, which opens you to miracles.
In innocence, you allow yourself to be impressed with the truth. In this state, you can ask yourself what you’d like to experience with this other person and what energies you must engage to feel that experience honestly. By moving into the energies of the experience you desire, you are informing the Thinking Substance2 out of which all things emerge, which reality you want to hook into. The process leads you to personal growth and a greater sense of empowerment, as well as greater happiness.
Below is a set of affirmations that can help you heal and improve relationships and move you into innocent perception.
1. My relationships of the past, present and future are now enfolded in love and harmonized for the good of all.
2. I allow all those I perceived as my objectors to now become my supporters.
3. Everyone in my life is supportive of me.
4. I see love in action in all my relationships and challenges as wonderful opportunities for me to have a change of heart.
5. As I change my heart in relationships, my life becomes filled with miracles.
6. Every person I encounter has an important message for me.
7. I attracted the perfect companion to help me see all my weaknesses; I am committed to making them into strengths.
8. With innocent perception, I bring love in action. All is possible with the power of love.
9. As I see the spark of divinity in others, all my encounters are elevated to greater meaning and inspired outcomes.
10. I bless all my relationships that present challenge to me; with forgiveness and acceptance we support our evolution forward.
11. I easily and purposefully engage the energies I need to give to others according to what I want to experience from them.
12. I release all blame in order to recognize my power at shaping my life.
13. No one can harm or diminish the truth of who I am.
14. I no longer think according to what I see in my relationships, but according to what I desire.
15. I AM exclusively love and goodwill. I AM innocent perception with everyone.
16. I love everyone as my Self and treat them as I want to be treated, always.
17. When I look at another, I see the face of the Infinite.
18. I am no longer attracted to drama with others; I am at peace and strong in my intentions to dwell in Reality.
19. I AM innocent perception and see others’ wounds rather than malice and ill will.
20. I AM at peace with all my relationships, and lead life from the resonance of an open heart.
21. I AM a safe haven to others; I give what I would have for myself.
22. I uplift and inspire everyone around me.
23. By my innocent perception, I choose how people will appear to me in life.
24. I respect the power of perception in shaping reality, and see behind appearances that are merely yesterday’s thoughts.
25. I AM deeply grateful for all my relationships; every encounter is an opportunity for me to know and express myself as love.
26. I respect myself and others in relationship, and release the need to change others.
27. I honor the principle of free will and respect others’ choice and honor that everyone may choose their path and timing of growth.
28. I approach encounters with others with complete openness and great expectations.
29. I easily release preconceptions based on negative past experience with everyone close to me.
30. I envision the highest in others, and the highest principles in them are always expressed.
31. I harmonize with the mind of the Creator by seeing everyone’s innocence.
32. With innocent perception, nothing others do threatens me.
33. I bless all those relationships I’ve outgrown or that no longer serve our highest good; I am grateful for what I learned from them.
34. I am surrounded by people who support me completely.
35. I attract wonderfully inspiring people in my life. All my relationships are deeply meaningful to me.
36. I am respectful of myself and others, always.
37. In the love that I am, there is never need of compromise.
38. I create harmony and cooperation in all relationships.
39. I actively listen to what others say without interrupting them.
40. I am more interested in what others have to say, than I am in speaking about myself.
41. I listen and hear others deeply and I thereby experience being heard.
42. I am more interested in what I don’t know about others, than I am in what I know.
43. When I greet people, I greet them with gladness in my being and a great sense of expectancy.
44. I now have a magnetic personality. I consistently attract goodness in all my relationships.
45. My subconscious mind properly prepares the subconscious mind of every person I meet before I meet them.
46. I now accomplish my goals with the benefits to others in mind.
47. I now have a keen understanding of myself and of other people.
48. I treat every person I meet with respect, mercy, tolerance, and understanding.
49. I now look for the good in every person and all my encounters with people.
50. I now inspire and empower others to greatness. My positivity is catchy.
51. All of my contacts with other people are smooth and pleasant.
52. I express my honest and sincere appreciation and praise for others easily and often.
53. When speaking with others, I look at things through their point of view as easily as my own.
54. I am now genuinely interested in other people.
55. I am consistently co-creating relationships that support and inspire me life.
1. Glenda Green. Love Without End, Jesus Speaks. Spiritis Publishing. 2002
2. ‘Thinking Substance’ is a term used by Wallace D. Wattles in his writings on manifestation (Science of Getting Rich). It may be viewed as the intelligent universal force of creation that is everywhere: “There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe. The Science of Getting Rich-public domain.